Lying to a Machine
#1926
A few days ago, I caught myself lying.
I was trying out an online personality assessment. In this case, it was the Big Five, but they all work pretty similarly.
You're shown a bunch of questions or statements, and you have to choose among a few options. In this case, options went from "very inaccurate" to "very accurate".
The questionnaire is anonymous, so nobody will ever know your answers. That should be reassuring enough for people to answer honestly.
And that is what I did.
Or at least what I believed I was doing.
Until, while I was moving from one question to another, I realized that I lied. Not openly, no. But I didn't answer honestly.
On that last question, I didn't pick the most sincere option but the one that made me feel better about myself.
I was lying on an anonymous assessment.
I was trying to look good to a computer!
I couldn't believe it.
I didn't know whether to laugh or be ashamed.
I went back to the previous questions, and there they were.
Small lies here and there.
I was doing that assessment to know myself better. Instead, I was tricking myself, trying to be a version I felt more comfortable with.
As I wrote yesterday, it's hard to get out of the performative mindset. It is so ingrained in our way of being that we do it, or at least I do it, even when nobody is watching.
Being real can be the hardest thing to do.
Do you ever catch yourself performing even when you're alone?
Thanks for reading One Apple A Day. We are a few days away from the release of my second book, Becoming the Mentor. Subscribe to The Gift Book Club today and join our series of workshops with the authors!