The Audience of One
#1925
It was quiet.
Really quiet this morning.
We had a storm yesterday afternoon, and it rained throughout the night.
This morning, I did a grounding practice to start the day. I went through each of the five senses. One by one, focusing on what I could see, sense, hear, smell, and taste.
I couldn't hear anything but the birds singing. Even the usual buzz of the appliances was missing this morning. And I couldn't smell anything. And that was weird. Usually, summer rain leaves very intense scents, but not this morning.
Where did all the noises and the scents go?
It felt like the world hit a reset button and gifted me with a rare, rain-washed silence that felt almost sacred.
So, I took my journal to write.
And while I was there, my pen hanging over the paper, the silence still present around me, I had a thought. Something personal, honest, and so raw that I feel ashamed. And I struggled to write it down. All of a sudden, I realized how often I do my best to look "good," even in my private journaling. Isn't that crazy? I mean, nobody reads it but me. Yet, I hesitate. As if I had to perform even for myself. As if the moment I write the truth, it can't be denied anymore. It becomes real.
I don't know why I'm sharing this.
Maybe these two things are connected?
Maybe the outer stillness created space for an inner honesty that felt too loud to ignore?
Do you journal? How honest are you in your journaling?
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