Life is a dance between the individual and the collective.
My dear friend Annelieke, an expert in system coaching, gave me this nugget of wisdom. This idea of dancing with the collective reminded me of the work of Barry Johnson on polarities. In his book "And", he dedicated an entire section to the polarity between the part and the whole. As he wrote at the beginning of that chapter, "Each of us is unique And all of us are connected." Johnson illustrates polarities using a lemniscate, a figure shaped like the infinity symbol. Something that reminds me of two partners dancing together.
The dancing metaphor made me think of what we can do when our life is not as we'd love it to be and that dance does not flow. If you have tried dancing with someone, you know how magical it is when it flows. It's like being transported into another dimension, where the world disappears, and there is just the poetry of every movement. When it doesn't flow, however, it can be pretty frustrating.
So, what do you do when that dance doesn't work? You may change the type of dance with something more in tune with your tastes and your way of moving. You can change your dancing partner. Sometimes, the chemistry is not good enough, or you have incompatible styles. Or, if you love both the type of dance and the partner, you can practice to improve your dancing skills.
You can read the metaphor as you like. However, it's fundamental to change what truly affects your dancing experience. If you enjoy that type of dance, you may need to change your partner. If you love that partner, try other types of dance. Making the wrong choice can result in a lot of stomping pains on your feet.
Thanks, Annelieke!