Sometimes It Doesn’t Work
#2044
I made a commitment when I opened this space.
Post every weekday, no matter what.
And I believe commitments are statements of what is.
It’s not what we promise, it’s what we do.
Maybe that’s why I struggle with commitments.
I can’t fathom the idea of not keeping the promise.
Or, better, the feelings of guilt and shame that come with that.
Guilt and shame are so quick to show up when I open the laptop to write these posts, and nothing comes up.
It feels like they are lurking in the shadows, ready to jump in as soon as it’s clear that the muse is not coming.
So, I wait to start the timer that marks the beginning of this practice.
I battle with my demons to find out something.
Lately, I’ve even asked AI to give me a suggestion.
Something. Anything to keep my commitment.
I have to. I must write something. And it must be good enough.
To keep guilt and shame away.
But nothing worked this morning.
So, I gave up.
Maybe the whole point of this practice is for me to accept that sometimes it doesn’t work.