One Apple A Day #955 - I don't want but I want
I don't want to, but I want to.
At the same time.
Does it ever occur to you?
It's a weird feeling, indeed.
I don't want to exercise this morning, but I want to.
I do not feel like writing this morning, but I want to.
The wanting is about what I will feel at the end but also in the process.
I know I will feel good at the end, and I want that feeling.
But to get there, I need to start.
And that's where the "not wanting" side creates resistance.
The "not wanting" can be so creative and take many forms: a sore muscle, poor weather, a late alarm, lack of ideas, the cat sitting on the keyboard, some noise outside or just tiredness.
Every morning there's a battle on my couch between the "wanting" me and the "not wanting" me.
It's a fierce fight, and I never know which version of me will come out victorious.
This morning the "wanting" me got the upper hand and wrote something despite the lack of ideas and a needy cat.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's battle.