One Apple A Day #921 - levels of trust
Lately, I had a few conversations that made me think about trust. In particular, how creating trust is essential to co-create anything. Without trust, people keep looking over their shoulder instead of being present in the conversation. The exchange looks more like a chess game than a co-creative experience.
So, this morning I was wondering, why do people follow someone? Why do students do what a teacher says? What makes us invest in some relationships and protect ourselves from others?
I found five possible reasons, and I've decided to note them here, so I won't forget them. Plus, maybe you can help me understand more or point me in the right direction.
So, the first reason is "fear". Yep, fear of the punishment. That's how most of the rules in our society work. We do or don't do something because we are frightened by the consequences. We stay silent in class because we don't want a lousy rate at school, and so on.
The second reason why we follow someone or do something is "belonging". By behaving in a certain way, we feel part of the group: our family, a community or an organization. We are social beings, so we want to belong.
The third one is "logic". We do something because it's reasonable. We do all our evaluations, crunch all the numbers, and decide that it's worth investing in a relationship. At least until the numbers work.
The fourth one is "meaning". We invest our energy in something because it makes sense to us. Because we share values with others that makes our effort meaningful.
Finally, the fifth reason is not a reason at all. It is "love". When we love someone or something, we don't need a reason. We just feel it in every cell of our body, and we surrender to love.
Depending on where we are on this little scale of mine, different levels of trust arise that defines the quality of the relationships.
What do you think of my morning ramble? Does it make any sense?