One Apple A Day #812 - to or with?
Lately, I've noticed how people more often seem to "talk to" instead of "talking with". Maybe it has always been like that, and I wasn't aware, but I have a feeling that it happens more and more both in online and onlife conversations.
Sometimes I catch myself doing it.
When we "talk to", the goal is to share our truth and get our message through. When we "talk with" the aim is to understand, to expand our knowledge so we can challenge our perspective and grow.
In the first case, the most critical skill is the ability to talk, to deliver the message. In the second one, the essential skill is the ability to listen.
Perhaps, before entering any conversations, we should ask ourselves about our intentions. Are we in it to listen, or do we just want an opportunity to share what we think?
If you enter a conversation knowing when it is going and what will be the outcome, then I'm not sure it is even a conversation.
I think a good measure to understand the type of conversations you're having is to reflect on the questions you ask.
If you're asking questions for which you already know the answers, then probably it's not a conversation, but it looks more like an interrogation.