One Apple A Day #801 - wrong
Think about the last mistake you made.
Some you did or said that you regret.
Probably, it's a small thing; one of the many little mistakes that we make by being human.
Now, repeat the following sentence in your mind.
"I am wrong."
Let it sink for a moment. How does it make you feel?
Then do it again but this time say the sentence: "What I did was wrong."
What happens within you?
Too often, when someone does something that we feel it's wrong, we usually react by going personal.
You are reckless.
You are stupid.
You are a fool.
You are wrong.
I do that when I'm angry, in particular when I'm driving. However, the only outcome of such a reaction is that it makes me feel better for a few seconds.
It doesn't help the other person for sure. Even if they hear what I say. They will just feel attacked and close in a defensive position. And we will both miss an opportunity to improve and change.
What if we say "what you just did is wrong". If we focus on the action, we are creating an opportunity to begin a conversation. It may or may not happens, but at least we are creating the space for it.
It's not easy, for sure. When we are hurt, scared or angry, it's easy to react, focusing more on the person than on the action. However, it is worth making an effort, as I see an opportunity to improve our conversations, especially online.