One Apple A Day #49
Two hours. According to the clock on the wall, we’ve been sitting here in silence, for two hours.
On my internal clock I counted at least three days. Silence can be so loud when you’re waiting. Because this is what we are doing. We are waiting for the monster to come out.
The monster is made of anger, blame, guilt, fear.
It’s the worst fight we ever had. We shouted at each other for 20 minutes. Twenty minutes in which we throw out the worst part of ourselves. I never thought I can be so mean. I never thought she can be so mean. And then, after 20 minutes of verbal punches the tears on her face. It was worst than the harshest of words. I can’t stand a woman crying. I can’t stand her crying.
And now the silence. This two hours of silence dug a deep black hole in my soul. A cavity where the monster is hiding. I feel him. I can sense he’s growing.
We stare at each other for a few seconds but then we spot the monsters in our soul and we look away.
What happened? How did we get here? I don’t even remember why we start this fight. But do we really need a reason? In the last five months, everything has been a good reason to fight. We used to love each other. We used to be happy. What changed?
I lift my eyes again only to find myself lost in her eyes. Her monster is ready. Mine I’m not sure.
“I leave.”
She’s talking but I can’t understand a word.