One Apple A Day #422 - On self-compassion
I can see it coming. It's like watching myself from the outside. I can observe the whole scene as it was a movie. The external trigger and my internal reaction. I can clearly see the inner pain surging and opening its way to the surface.
I can see it, but I can't stop it. All the work I've done on myself gave me the ability to see my reactions when they are happening. I learned what triggers me and I can spot all the signs. Yet, I can't stop all of this from happening. Some reactions, some beliefs are wired so profoundly that it's hard to change them. I may, one day. Or I may not. At some point in my self-development journey, I thought I would be able to change everything. So, it was frustrating to see some patterns surfacing without me being able to do anything to fix them. Until I realised that I don't have to. There are things we can not change. Not now at least. I'm learning to be present with what it is. Through self-compassion, I'm finding peace.