One Apple A Day #337
What do you do with the things you don’t like about yourself?
It’s a question I’ve often been asked.
It’s a question I ask myself often.
What do I do with my weaknesses? With the personal traits that I don’t like or the behaviours that I’m not proud of.
Should I accept who I am as I am? Or should I try to change?
And what if I can’t change no matter how hard I try?
So many times I tried to change my behaviours without success, feeling beaten and guilty at the end.
First of all, if you found something about yourself that you don’t like and you are asking yourself what to do with it, allow me to acknowledge your self-awareness. Most of the time we are aware of the behaviours that affect our lives negatively. Awareness is the first step to any growing process.
Then, you need to understand what to do with this awareness.
First tip. Avoid asking why.
There is no point in digging into it. You will end up in an inward negative spiral that won’t move you forward.
This an error that I made a lot of time.
Self-reflection is a good start but indulging in it will activate your self-judging, and at some point, you will just find answers that fit your beliefs, not the truth.
You are who you are. You’ve done what you’ve done.
You can’t change your past, so let it be.
But you can create your future.
And you can do it only here and now.
Second tip. Shift your focus to the destination.
So, you found something you want to change about yourself.
Great.
Now, it’s time to ask who do you want to be.
As long as you keep thinking about what you don’t like, nothing will happen.
Your gaze is inward, and you can’t take a step forward without a direction.
Lift your eyes and decide who you want to become.
Give form to it. Make it real.
Who will you be? What life will you have? What skills, knowledge, behaviours?
Once you have that is no more about changing.
It’s about planning your journey to get where you want.
This is what I’ve learned for myself.
If there is something I don’t like about myself, I accept it.
Then I focus on understanding who I want to be, and I create a plan to get there.