One Apple A Day #183
How far can your memories go?
I often play this little game with myself. I close my eyes and travel back in time looking for the oldest memories I can recall.
I am a man who lives in the present. I don’t keep photos, videos, memorabilia or any stuff from the past. I like to travel light.
I wasn’t like this until ten years ago when my life fell apart, and I had to rebuild myself. Before that moment I was a collector. In my bedside drawers, there were useless things like the stones I painted when I was at the nursery or a padlock without they key that I can’t remember what it was for.
But when my life went south, and I had to rebuild the pieces of my essence, I throw everything away. At that time I realised that the only way for me to get up and move forward was to get rid of all my baggage. And I did it.
So now I can rely only on the dusty and rusty storage in my mind to recall memories from the past. But I like it like that. The filters I apply to my memories tell me something about who I am Today. Why do I remember some events while I completely remove others? Where they more significant at that time or are they more relevant to the person I am today?
The earliest memories that come to my mind are just images. Like old photographs on which you have to rebuild the context.
Me boarding the bus to the nursery, holding my sister’s hand.
Me peeing my pants in the waiting room at the dentist.
I should write about these memories. To keep them and to understand them, to find connections and answers, to use them as opportunities to move forward.
And maybe one day I’ll write a memoir.