"Fabio, you beat your sister! Yes, but she..."
"Fabio, you didn't tidy up your room! Yes, but you..."
As a kid, I quickly learned the power of "yes, but". By the end of my teen years, I was a black belt.
"Yes, but" is like Captain America's shield, a solid defence to diffuse any attack to our fragile ego.
Unfortunately, I was so good that I kept doing it also when I grew up as a way to evade my responsibilities. It took a lot of effort, and some painful hits, to recognize that I was trapped in this game. I still have to pay attention because some habits are hard to change.
Yet, if I look around, I sense I'm not the only one who mastered the art of "yes, but".
It's a widely diffuse attitude among many to protect themselves and others.
"That man beat a woman. Yes, but she did..."
"They started a war. Yes, but the others..."
Sure, adults with a richer language often use fancier words, but in the end, it's still that "yes, but" we learned to use as kids.
I believe we should remove "yes, but" from our vocabulary. Instead, we should begin to take responsibility and learn to own our choices, words, actions, failures and mistakes.
I'm not saying we would solve everything, but it would be a step towards a more peaceful world that works for everyone.