I'm late. Usually, at this point of the day, my morning apple is already out there, and I'm having breakfast. But I'm tired.
And when I'm tired, the chaos inside and around me grows.
There is beauty in chaos.
And a lot of creativity.
But when left unchecked, it can become destructive.
I've learned that I must create some order, a structure to contain that chaos and harness its power.
The structure can be external, like the school when I was younger. Or a job, a deadline for a project, a set of rules in a group. However, I need to be careful as I discovered that when the structure is too rigid, then my chaos is compressed instead of guided. Then its power is depleted, and sooner or later, I have to escape.
The structure can also be internal.
Something that I create for myself.
This kind of structure requires physical, emotional and intellectual energy.
That's why it's easy for me to harness my chaos in the morning when my energy is higher while it becomes challenging in the evening.
Unless I'm tired like this morning.