There's a bit of frustration in me this morning. Yesterday, during a conversation, I had a flash. Something inspiring has been shared, and I thought, "this would be perfect for tomorrow morning's apple."
But, I didn't have a pen close by, so I didn't jot it down.
And now it's gone.
I tried to remember those words, I relived the whole conversation in my meditation practice, but that sentence was not there.
Sure, I could have written about something different. I could have picked a prompt from my musings archive. But I couldn't get over the idea that I missed something worth noting.
So, even if I tried to get over it and move on, words were not coming. I've decided to use this time to explore this feeling. Maybe, there's also a secret hope that in doing this, those words will resurface.
Mostly, it is a process of acceptance.
The fact that I may have nothing to write about has been one of the hardest things to deal with in this little practice of mine.
It is still there. Despite over a thousand posts written, I still fear the void in my mind when I sit to write. So, when an idea appears in my day, I hang to it as a life-saving rope.
This lost idea reminds me why I sit down every morning and write. I do it to anchor my day and not please my ego. It's about showing up and not showing off. And if a good idea gets lost in my messy mind, so be it.
So, whatever those words were, I'm grateful. In the end, they inspired a post, even if I can't remember them.
P.S. the white noise in the picture is a good representation of my mind at the beginning of this morning practice.