"Our similarities bring us together, but it is our differences that make us grow."
This statement is from my mentor Rossella, one of my precious sources of wisdom. She was talking about mentoring relationships, but I believe it's true for any kind of relationship.
At least, it is if I look at my experience.
The lasting relationships in my life, which I cherish the most and help me grow, began by recognising something that resonated with the other person. But then they evolve and become stronger through the challenges created by the differences.
If we are too similar, I definitely feel good in the relationship. But feeling good doesn't help me grow and evolve. For that, I need a relationship that allows me to expand my perspectives and see better. And that is possible only when we nurture diversity. Sometimes, those differences can create tension. In those cases, I remind myself of the similarities that brought us together.
On the other side, if there are only differences, sooner or later, the relationship becomes exhausting, and we will part ways.
It hasn't always been like that. For many years I focused only on the similarities, worried that the differences could break my relationships. As a result, I wasn't growing, and my relationships were not evolving.
Until we fell apart.
So, I learned that once there is a solid foundation built on similarities, the relationship will thrive on the differences.
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