My First Boss, My Learning Spark
The Mentors Who Made Me
In my previous stories, I shared how my father taught me the power of non-attachment and how Stefano showed me what it means to create space where people feel they belong. Today, I want to tell you about Massimo, my first boss, who planted a spark that would eventually ignite my passion for mentoring.
I started my career as a software developer during the crazy years of the first internet bubble. Those were wild times—companies just needed to mention "website" to see their stock prices soar. We were working as web developers in a booming agency where there was no shortage of work. All projects felt amazing, and we believed we were shaping the future of technology. Plus, we were well paid for our level of experience.
For the first few years, Massimo was my boss. Freshly graduated, I didn't know much about writing software in the real world. I learned tremendously during those years, mostly because Massimo was not only a patient teacher, but he also loved challenging me to figure things out on my own.
That's why I couldn't understand why Massimo kept teaching programming classes in the evenings. Here was someone so talented and busy, spending his free time teaching beginners when he could have been earning premium rates or simply relaxing. With all the lucrative projects we had, why would he look for more work?
So one day, I asked him. And with his usual simplicity, he told me that teaching others was his best way to learn and improve himself.
That was it.
Clear and simple.
I didn't know it then, but I was witnessing the embodiment of what Seneca observed two millennia before: "While we teach, we learn."
Despite Seneca's ancient wisdom and Massimo's inspiration, I wasn't fully convinced. However, Massimo was a role model to me, so I gave it a try and taught some programming classes myself. And, obviously, it worked; my programming skills improved. And I also gained more self-confidence and improved the clarity of my communication. I also discovered that programming wasn't really my calling, but that's another story.
In the following years, I moved into leadership and management roles that gave me more opportunities to help others grow and develop. Yet somehow, I wasn't experiencing the same learning and growth that Massimo described. Maybe because I wasn't so much focused on technical stuff anymore—I was seeking something deeper than just acquiring knowledge and skills. I wanted to grow and evolve as a human being.
It wasn't until I discovered developmental mentoring that I understood how to transform Massimo's intuition into effective actions. Mentoring gave me the structure, skills, and tools to learn and grow while helping others transform not just their capabilities, but themselves.
"The more they learn, the more I learn. The more they grow, the more I grow." - from Becoming the Mentor
Here lies the beautiful paradox of mentoring: by focusing on others' growth, we accelerate our own. Through mentoring, I've discovered this happens in profound ways. When I help mentees organize their thinking, I clarify my own understanding. When they question my assumptions with fresh eyes, I refine my mental models. When they bring diverse perspectives to familiar challenges, I see possibilities I'd never considered. Regular mentoring interactions have sharpened my emotional intelligence, enhanced my communication skills, and deepened my understanding of human development—all crucial leadership competencies.
Being a mentor makes me a better person. That's why, as we wrote in the book, mentoring "is a gift. A gift in other people's lives. And a gift in our lives."
Massimo planted the spark in me all those years ago. Mentoring turned that spark into a glowing fire.
"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own." - Ben Sweetland
Have you ever discovered that helping someone else actually helped you? What did that experience teach you?
Becoming the Mentor: Two Lives, One Journey, A Million Gifts is available on Amazon and your favorite bookstores.
Are you mentoring, or thinking about becoming a mentor? Join the next free Masterclass on Wednesday at 6 PM CET! Subscribe to The Gift Book Club on: www.becomingthementor.com